Will your child's name affect who they become?

In 2019, a British couple was sent to jail for naming their newborn after Adolf Hitler. The couple was sentenced to a combined 11-plus years.

Prior to this, another couple in Iraq was forced to change their son’s name after he was subjected to public ridicule, bullying and stigma.

They had named their son after the late Iraqi leader, Saddam Hussein, who was hung to death on December 30, 2006.

These are just two of millions of cases of parents who don't consider the implication of their child's name(s).

Traditionally, in Africa, babies were often named after their grandparents, seasons, events or the time of day they were born.

In the modern world, however, baby's names have become more creative and for some, more strange.

Some of the jaw-dropping baby names around the world include Talula Does the Hula, Devil, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmmprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, Marijuana, ABCDE, Audio Science, Diva, Margot, Rebel, Blackberry, Thin and Bear.

This new culture of delinking a baby's name from traditions has also caught up with Kenyans.

Take Elizabeth Ngoli for example. Her 14-year-old son has been the bane of bad jokes among his peers because of his name.

He is called Masinjaji, which means ‘murderer’ in Western Kenya. His mother says the adolescent's life is a nightmare. “He is always getting into fights because of bullying and ridicule,” she says.

While it is easy to downplay the impact of a child’s name, Susan Kibe, a child therapist based in Nairobi, says it is as critical as their upbringing.

“Your child will be identified and, or will identify themselves with the name you give them for the rest of their life,” she says.

But some parents see no big deal in how they name their child(s). “A name is a name and there’s no big deal in it. You can name your child however you wish,” says Ruth Mwalii, a 29-year-old new mother of two.

She has named her twins John Terry Mwalii and Chelsea Mwalii.  “My partner is a great Chelsea football supporter so I named my twins after his favourite club and football legend. I see nothing wrong with that.”

On the other hand, Cindy Atieno’s eight-year-old son has been having trouble telling which is his real name between Washington and Junior.

“He knows how to write Washington but he always says his name is Junior when asked and subsequently writes Junior [instead of] Washington,” says Cindy. Apparently, everyone at home calls him Junior!

Although in some family customs baby-naming follows a strict and predictable order, i.e., naming the child after their father’s parents first, Victoria Kibet says that she and her partner will not be naming their expected child after his grandfather.

“We only want to have one child and have decided that we are going to name him after both my mother and his father,” she says.

According to Susan, it is important for parents to bear in mind the impact that their child's name will have on them and consequent choices they may make or avoid in future because of this.

“A 'unique' name may damage the child’s self-esteem, subject them to teasing and shame and prevent them from fully pursuing their personal dreams,” she says.

The probability of a positive effect is as large as that of a negative effect.

“Your child's name may influence how they think about themselves and the way in which others see them. The name may also trigger expectations that are difficult to attain if the child lacks the appropriate talent or temperament.”

Apparently, the more difficult the expectations are for them to attain, the more this impacts negatively on the child’s self-esteem. 

This is especially so for children who have been named after perceived 'role models' whose demeanour or reputation has nothing to do with the child.

For instance, notes Susan, naming your child after a rogue role model may end up leading to incidents of ridicule.

“It is essential that before you name your child after an international figure, you first put their present and possible future character into perspective,” says Susan.

Additionally, she says it is critical to consider how the name you give your child will fit in with them as they advance in age.

“The name that fits your son or daughter as a young child may not exactly fit them in their older age,” she says. 

Case in point is Maggie Dena who decided to change her son’s name.

“I’d named my son James Onesmus Odhiambo Junior. But I began to realize that the more he grew, the more he outgrew the name Junior. I thought of how ‘Junior’ would sound in his old age. I had to eliminate it,” she says.

What to consider when naming your child 'out of the box'

Family and personal tradition

Look at your immediate family and relatives’ naming traditions and customs. How are children in the family named? Why? Consider the impact that naming your child 'out of the norm' will have on them and your relationship with your larger family.

Know when and how to reveal the name before your child is born 

Do not wait until your child is born and you’re just leaving the maternity wing to drop off your naming bombshell, if you have named your child out of your family’s tradition. Reveal to a few close family members or friends and see their reaction. If you find that your choice wasn’t good enough, mature or well thought-out, you will have ample time to make amends.

Spelling and vocabulary

Resist the temptation to give your child a uniquely long and difficult name. Bear in mind that there are numerous variations and different spellings for the same name. Unique spelling may make your child stand out but may also become a headache for other people.

Beliefs or faith inspired names

See if your name has been inspired by a certain set of beliefs. While the name may affirm this or become a source of inspiration for your child, the child may also outgrow these beliefs or decide to convert from them when he or she is older.